You can stop being anything

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:52:41 GMT

On Thrusday this week I am going to the hospital for 8 am where I'll first have a check up and after that I'll be given medication to induce labor. So yes, we have come to the end of this pregnancy. The reason why it'll be induced is that I went for a weight evaluation yesterday and it looks like this baby is quite big. About 4 kg now and due date isn't for another 2 weeks (plus possible 2 weeks overtime), so the doctor said they'd rather try and get the baby out this week. They didn't even want to wait after Easter.

Induced labor can take days, but I'm hoping it'll go smoothly within the same or next day. I'm not nervous yet, but I doubt I'll get much sleep right before I have to go there. So, if we're lucky our baby will be born this Thursday/Friday. Please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for us!

DeeDee has been acting really weird in the past few weeks. He's not his arrogant self, he's been very close and in need for stroking and closeness. I wonder if it's the spring or if he's sensing that I'm going away for a while. He's "my" cat, he's chosen me as his mistress and Ahti has chosen J as his master. They do love us both, but DeeDee loves me more...that's just the way it goes.
I am going to miss the kitties while in the hospital. It can take up to a week that I won't see them, depending how soon the baby comes out. If everything goes well and the kid is born on Thrusday/Friday I might get to come home on Monday/Tuesday. They want to keep women who give birth for the first time in the hospital for about 4 days. Those who've done it before get to go home 2 days after the labor. It all depends how well the mother and the baby feel.

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 15:22:13 GMT

i' m so totally loving my new sewing machine!!! it works for starters...and it's so silent and did i mention that it works???? yay. i need to go and buy some fabrics next week given that i'm not in the hospital. i have been having contractions a lot in the past couple of days and today the kid has been fooling around and making me ache...so we'll see.

yesterday when we were thinking about the nightly doorbell ringer I got a bit freaked out and decided to buy a safety lock to our front door. It' s a damn thick wooden door and there really isn't much of a chance of breaking in without someone waking up to the sound, but still...I feel safer now that the safety lock is there.

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 11:37:08 GMT

Some idiot was ringing our doorbell at 3.30 am this morning...and kept ringing it and ringing it. I was so furious at the end that I couldn't sleep after that. At one point I even thought about going to get a kitchen knife and going to open the door with it in my hand...don't mess with a pregnant lady!!!! Who the fuck rings people's doorbell at 3.30 am? I fucking well will let that person know what I think of him/her if it happened to be any of our neighbours.

On a more positive note: my new sewing machine has arrived to the post office today. YAY!!!!!!

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:09:10 GMT

Ok, so the story of my life goes something like this. Ruisrock, a summerfestival here in Turku, is quite promising this year. They haven't had all that many good bands playing there for years. I haven't even bothered to think about going...apart from now. Then...Misfits are coming to play in Helsinki at the end of April...Kiss--2 shows in May. Both sold out, but I could've thought about going. And all these amazing bands I've liked since I was practically in diapers are coming to Finland NOW when I'm having my first kid in about a month. How's that typical for you? Oh well...I have seen Misfits before. Still, I'd get a huge kick out of seeing 50+ year-old punks doing what would hopefully be a mf-ing great show.

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 08:26:22 GMT

Just finished selling over 200€s worth of dvds and a few cds on Finnish eBay Huuto.net. Yay. Recycling is so much fun. Oh well I need to pay a 90€ bill that is way past due, but still I feel great having some extra cash. I think I'm taking the two of us -J et moi -out to eat this or next week. Also we changed banks this week. We were with Nordea with our 126 grand debt, but got so sick with their policies that we decided to change our mortage to Sampo. Basically Sampo is paying our current debt off to Nordea and then well be paying it back to Sampo for the next, oh, 23 years. And the best news is that because it's so late in the month that this is happening we don't have to pay our mortage this month. WOOHOO. That's 800€ extra. Not that it's going to be saved, there's still some baby stuff to be bought. Lots of little things that add up to a lot of money in the end. Still, a mortage free month. It should be in the contract that every year they'd skip the payment once. And you'd get to choose which month...I'd choose July.

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:47:01 GMT

Just a bit over a month to go I dunno if I can hack it. This belly is seriously huge, I can't bend very well. I don't bother to tie my shoelaces cos it's just too much of a hassle. And if I drop something I prefer to wait for J to pick it up rather than do it myself. I can, however, get out of bed myself. For now. I hope this kid would come out a few weeks earlier than s/he's due. In just weeks this pregnancy is full term. Yay.

Oh, KISS tickets came on sale today and were sold out in 10 minutes. I felt so bad for J. I'm going to enter every contest where they give away tickets to the show. It was me who tried to get through to the agency and it just kept bleeping busy, so I figured I couldn't get the tix. Fuckity fuck. They're also sold out on Sweden and Denmark. Surprise? Let's hope mr. Stanley's heart pulls through this world tour and they'll do one more in a few years...

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 09:54:18 GMT

Our friend's 14 year-old cat was diagnosed with diabetes this week. He's just a little overweight (the cat I mean), weighs about 6 kgs. Now our precious 2 year-old DeeDee the cat weighs 8 kgs and we decided to put him on a diet. I'm not sure how much of DeeDee's weight is excess i.e. fat cos he's much bigger in every way in comparison to Ahti the cat who weighs around 4.5 kgs. DeeDee's quite muscular and his bones are very big, but his belly does hang down a bit, so I'm guessing he could use losing a kilo or two. All this hassle with the diabetic kitty made me think that I don't want that to DeeDee. Ahti could get it, too. It's not so much about the weight of the cat altough an overweight living creature is always at a higher risk of getting an illness like that. Anyhoo, now the diabetic kitty will have to take insulin shots every day for as long as he lives. Which you all know could be the next 6-8 years...poor cat. I feel bad for him.

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 10:07:55 GMT

My first sacrifice due to having a baby even before the birth...KISS are doing a 35-year celebration tour, and yeah, they're coming to play in Helsinki. The date is May 28th. I'm missing them. Our kid will be way too young to be taken care by someone else (read: my sister). I also missed them on the Psycho Circus tour in '98 cos I couldn't get tickets. I was more gutted then cos I lived right next to the venue where they played at. Janne is going, most likely. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck! Oh well...at least J will get to see one of his childhood favourites.
I was very young when I first saw them on tv and that was it. I've been a huge fan ever since. The whole glam thang has always appealed to me---Kiss, Bowie, NY DOlls...you know. I just have to hope they're alive and kicking when they have 40 years of rocking and rolling behind them and do a world tour.

Oh, the nostalgia...earlier on the Ramones were on the radio and now the Clash. Woo-hoo. I'm one of those kids who found music mostly on radio, I even taped songs off the radio. Anyone else do that back in the day??? Good times.

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 18:23:15 GMT

Today was like spring, the sun was up low and it was just a teeny tiny bit chilly. No snow, just ice all over. And it's Jan 26th, we're having March weather. I really wouldn't mind if it stayed like this. Daylight is increasing every day and it's giving me so much energy. So much in fact that *ive started catching up on mail. Hoorray for moi! I'm totally behind on everything that doesn't involve our baby.

I've been knitting stuff for the litlle thing, a few pairs of mittens and I'm going to knit a few pais of socks, too. I've made 2 quilts so far and I still want to sew something. Today we went thifting and found some real sweet baby toys. I think apart from the crib, which I'll buy online in a couple of weeks, we're pretty much done with all the baby puchaces as of now. Now I can just sit back and relax for the last 2 months of this rollercoaster ride. It really has been quite an experience.

My last day at work will be Feb 14th. Hah, that made me laught a little. Luckily I'll also have a shorter day then. I work 8 hrs 4x a week and 6.15 hrs once a week. I'm so glad I don't have to do a full work day on my last day!!! I really can't wait to get to stay at home, but at the same time it feels a bit frightening. I mean, I've been working full time for a long time now and even thoght I know taking care of a kid is no holiday I still feel odd about the idea of not getting up to go to work. Well, perhaps I'll get used to it soon.

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 17:31:01 GMT

I don't know what it is about this time of the year that makes me call it Shitmas. Really. I've had insane pains in my belly and womb all day and I know it's cos I'm so stressed out cos J's folks are coming to spend Shitmas with us and I'm almost sure that his niece has ADHD. And I can't take it right now. I told J earlier on that ONE outburst from that girl, screaming or shouting or WHATEVER and I'm out of here. I just want to be left alone, p l e a s e.

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:09:11 GMT

People are weird when you're pregnant. They get all fussy and hyper and adhd about it. Everyone except for me and J that it. So far we're received 3 mf-ing huge bags af clothes in different sizes---we could have seplets and not run out of clothes. I have a huge bagful of maternity clothes---mostly unused by me cos I can still fit into my old trousers and stuff. I've only worn the bigger shirts. I have 2 breast pumps. Diapers (!!!!), 2 packages of nipple pads, and so oooooon...And here I am thinking WTF??? I think I've kept my cool about this after the initial excitement, but you know this kid was long in the making...My sister offered to give us their old baby carriage and J's mum and sister insisted on buying us one. I said we can take my sister's, but no...so today I tell my dear sister that we're going to get a brand new carriage and she gets all angry at me. So, who's hormones are off the wall? Not mine! At this point I'm so tired of all this god damn hassle that I think I won't tell anyone anything anymore and keep my phone turned off. I don't need this. It makes me angry, too. And the next time I'm knocked up I swear I won't tell a soul until I'm showing. ***oh, note! we have only bought 2 articles of clothing for the kid, nothing else.**** I'm going slightly mad, yes it's finally happened...

Only about ?15? more weeks 'til due date. The kid has been kicking like mad, even J can feel the moves thru my belly now. Everything was fine in the last ultrasound. And yes, we know which one we're having, but I ain't tellin'.

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:08:09 GMT

Winter. It always creeps up, year after year. And every year I like it less and less. It's only like -2 degrees, but I guess the wind is blowing from Siberia cuz it's cold. My tits are freezing!!!! I really don't like snow, but I wish we'd get some already. It's so dark around 4 pm already these days. A little snow would brighten the days up, literally.

So. I'm on my 22nd week of the pregnancy already. Only 16-18 to go, give or take. Time has gone by fast, I'm having my 2nd ultrasound on Monday. It's a more accurate one, where they'll look at the baby's brain, bones, heart, kidneys...basically everything. And maybe, if the kid is willing we get to know if it's a boy or a girl. I am nervous. I'm sure things are going as they should, but still...Expecting a baby is really quite nerve wracking! This information filled age is perhaps causing a lot more stress than anything else. I mean, 30 years ago moms-to-be pretty much had the chance to hear the kid's heart beat and that was it. They didn't have to stress about whether or not the kids brain had developed by stantards. Too much info can make one go insane. Anyhoo, I know the baby is still ALIVE, which is always a positive thing. I started to feel kicks in my belly 3 weeks ago. I might be a few weeks further along than expected, but that will also be confirmed on Monday. My belly is mf-ing huge, but I'm happy cos I can still fit into some of my old clothes. :):)

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 14:03:19 GMT

today i decided i was going to find a new job. there's too much shit going on at the youth department, i hate working with kids and yeah, the pay's miserable. plus i've done this for too many years and there are no chances of ever getting promoted. i will use my maternity leave to finish the school my now emplyer is paying for (that is of course if i can) and i'll also look for something else. i told my co-workers that i've had enough and that i'm not coming back unless i really have to. you know, that kind of really where we are starving and about to lose our home and stuff. i know there's shit going on at every company and department there is, but i'm hoping there might be a job where everything wouldn't feel so god damn unjust.

so what do i want to do for a living? i want to work with animals. not necessarily the cute puppies, bunnies or kitties, but ALL animals. cows, chickens, sheep, pigs...and yes, dogs, cats and bunnies, too. i don't want to be a farmer, but something to do with that. i wish i could get the chance to re-educate myself. win enough money to take 2-4 years off working life and study full time. not too much asked and i'm only 25 so there's plenty of time to study. it's just that sometimes there's no chance FINACIALLY. i hate money, i hate this corporate driven world and age we live in.

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 11:43:22 GMT

rainy days and mon..., no wednesdays get me down. yes, it's a rainy wednesday. i'm at home sick again. i missed 3 days of work last week, went back on monday and got sick again. or is it just my lack on motivation that subconsciously keeps bringing up this flu thing? could be. i really am sick of work. i've decided after 3 years of working solo or with no-good-of-coworkers and pretty much busting my fat ass off that this year i'm only doing what i'm supposed to. nothing more, maybe even a little less. i can't wait for my 12 months off next year. it'll do me good.

our asshole of a neighbour is listening to very bad music loud. he also has taken up playing a dj at 7 am on random mornings, including weekends. he has a microphone and ev'rythin'...I told him to keep quiet on weekends cos i want my rest, i need my rest and don't want to listen to him or his damn reggae records at 7 effing am. he's unemployed and perhaps on amphetamines, too, so he keeps odd hours.

on a more positive note, i heard our baby's heart beat last week!!! it was insane, the doctor had to look for it for quite a while and naturally i was getting a bit worried, but there it was. a very vague sound going very fast, maybe around 160 bpm. in just a few weeks we'll see the kid on the ultrasound. ain't modern technology just grand?!!?

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:04:37 GMT

The baby's due on April 3rd next year. In a bit over a week we're going to see a gynecologist who will listen to the baby's heart beat and in the end of September we'll go to the first ultrasound. Oooh. Exciting. Janne wants to come along to everything, which is amazing. Well, I know he'll be a great dad and will want to be with his kid, but I think it's still great that he'll come to the pussy doctor with me.

I've been sick only twice, but have had constant nausea quite often. It lasts all day, but nothing comes up. For the past week or so I've been able to stay awake 'til 11 pm whereas before I was asleep by 10pm. All in all I'm feeling good.

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 12:53:00 GMT

I'm pregnant!!:)

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:19:39 GMT

Mail out tomorrow to
carmyarmyofme
thistletown

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 20:46:36 GMT

mail in yesterday

teresaxbrat

and mail out today

cheetarah

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 10:01:09 GMT

Mail out today

ink_under_nails
antifluff

have a great day everyone, we're off to the sales....

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 07:29:15 GMT

Not having a baby. After 6 days being late I got my period, which I think is just too damn cruel. But enough about that.

Yesterday we celebrated Ahti the cat's 1st birthday. We got him 2 new toys, the other one is totally torn already (oh, those children!!!) and a fancy dinner. I think it was salmon or something. He was very happy about the toys, he played with them on and off 'til 2 am. Actually, the presents are for Dee Dee's birhtday, too. It's on July 13th.

Mail in yesterday:
cheetarah

could it be...

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 17:48:57 GMT

My period is 4 days late. Yes. 4 days (3 if I count by 28-day circulation). Still, even though my period is irregularly regular, meaning 27-29 day circulation, I've never been this late. I keep thinking it CAN'T be true. I don't want to do a test yet, neither does J. We'll wait a few more days and see if I get my period. Still, I know how I feel for days before I start to bleed and this month I haven't felt that. Don't get your hopes up, nothing's for sure yet.

Mail in/out call

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 09:47:37 GMT

Mail in yesterday from

thistletown

And everyone I owe mail to, there are about a dozen of you, midsummer is this week. I have Friday off work and my summer holiday starts on June 27th so the first thing I will do is catch up on mail. I have been working insane hours for the pAst 2 monhs because I was promoted as the manager of the day camps I'm working at right now. I've been the head of every-fucking-thing all by myself and this is the first time ever that I'm the boss, so it has taken a lot of my energy to learn the things I should know as a manager. So, I decided to push letter writing aside 'til the camps are over. But after 5 more work days I'll have my vacation and don't have to go back to work 'til 1st of August....so, please bare with me.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 07:48:57 GMT

I have been feeling sick all morning at work. Like I was going to puke. Eugh. Everything has been smelling awful for the past 3 days...This morning at work Jarno started to make lunch for the kids at it smelled so awful that I had to get out of there. He was making chicken pasta, one of my fave foods. Bizarre.

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 17:42:33 GMT

This week has been such a rollercoaster ride emotionally. Coming off drugs, I'm ok every other day and the rest of them J and I are at each other's throats cos I'm such an awful psycho bitch. I feel sorry for him having to put up with me.

Today was the last day at Seikkailupuisto! (the kids start their summer holidays tomorrow)Fuck YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I'm über happy to get out of there. I loved working with the kids in my own group and they all remembered me. I got such lovely presents from ALL of them. It was all pretty emotional, but I guess this is just an end of an era. I'm ok with it, I had the best year as far as the 9 amazing kids go. The rest was a bunch of byrocratic shit, but I suppose every work place has it's goods and bads. Still....I feel liberated.

I'm at home drinking vodka, J's out. I'm in a pissy mood and he could do a few hours without my raging, so I decided to stay at home today. I'm listening to Groove FM, lovely old disco and soul classics and getting a bit tired.

Ah, come July and I'll have the whole month off work. The first time since 2000 that I've had this long summer holiday. 7 years is a long time to work throughout the year with a few odd days off here and there. And in July we are going to see the Roots, Steely Dan and Sly and The Family Stone!!!! It'll be a good month!!!

a new job

Wed, 30 May 2007 10:50:03 GMT

today I had "an interview" at a porn shop. hells yeah. my current work mate hanna knows this guy jussi who owns a catering business. jussi's dad retired recently from owning a porn shop and passed the business onto jussi. he's looking for workers, i was up for it. i said that in june i'll be able to do saturdays (which is a 4 hour work day from 10 am-2pm) and in july when i'm on holiday from the youth department i'll be able to do 3-4 shifts per week. it's just 5 hours a day, i would get paid extra for evenings and saturdays and jussi asked about autumn and i said i could do saturdays then also.

it's not that we need the cash, but the job isn't bad. selling xxx stuff and videos, getting paid ok...=more shoes for me!!!!! hah, nah. i've thought long about getting an extra job that i'd do once a week for few hours a day. and this was basically given to me, so why the fuck not? my mama taught me that if i want something that i can't afford i gotta work to earn the money...

janne's fine with me taking on a saturday job. 4 hours every saturday or every other isn't bad. yay.